bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dear god my vagina.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
