Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
