Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
