What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
