Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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