Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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