you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
