You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
