I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
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