Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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