I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
