Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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