One girl and one boy is just not enough.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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