so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
