I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
