dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
