but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
