one might say we're banned from that church
Acid is not a monday night drug
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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