So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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