Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
