making cat noises will not fix the situation.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
