What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
