We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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