i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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