I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
