i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
bring money and cleavage
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
