I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
