margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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