So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
