If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
one might say we're banned from that church
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
