Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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