I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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