hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
even my farts smell like vagina
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
