is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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