She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
