Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
