So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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