Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
