i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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