i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize