I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
