Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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