All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Michael Bay diarrhea
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
