i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
