I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
