my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
