you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
