a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm too high and old for this...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
