My nipple is on Facebook.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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