grandma shit on top of the toilet
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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