oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
