At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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