No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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