the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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