I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
