I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
