my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize