so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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