So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
