If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just tell him i said nine months
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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