I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
