dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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